Love, Dating, and Disability:

Love is for everyone. Whether romance, friendship or any deep connection, all people deserve relationships that make them happy. But for people with intellectual and developmental disabilities, outdated ideas and a lack of sex education make this much more complicated than it should be.

Too often, people with disabilities are left out of talks about dating, relationships, and sexuality. Some believe they don’t have romantic or sexual feelings or that teaching them about these topics will cause problems. The Kennedy Krieger Institute explains that many people wrongly think that adults with disabilities are “always children.” People might say, “They may be 18, but they have a cognitive age of 5.” This thinking prevents people with disabilities from learning about consent, boundaries, and healthy relationships. When people do consider romance for them, it is usually from a heterosexual point of view, ignoring other identities and orientations.

A 2024 study in the journal Archives of Sexual Behavior found that Two-Spirit, lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and queer (2SLGBTQ+) people with disabilities are often left out of conversations about gender and sexuality. Sex education programs that ignore these identities can cause discrimination and confusion for people at this intersection.

This lack of education isn’t just unfair—it’s dangerous. Studies show that people with disabilities are more likely to experience sexual abuse. The National Crime Victimization Survey found that about 59,000 adults with disabilities in the U.S. are sexually assaulted each year. Even worse, about half of all adults with disabilities experience 10 or more incidents of sexual abuse in their lifetime. Without proper sex education, people don’t have the tools to protect themselves or form safe, happy relationships.

Thankfully, things are changing. More organizations are working to provide honest, helpful education about relationships and sexuality for people with disabilities. One such group is Real Talk. They offer learning sessions for people with disabilities, their families, and their supporters in the Lower Mainland. They also create videos where real people share real stories about dating, relationships, and sex in a safe, judgment-free way.

Education is key to reducing confusion and fear. When people with disabilities get the same relationship and sex education as everyone else, they can make safer choices, build strong relationships, and live fuller lives. Parents, teachers, and caregivers must start these conversations early and plan for them properly.

It’s time to remove the barriers that keep people with disabilities from experiencing love and connection. Families, educators, and support workers must openly discuss relationships, dating, and sexuality. Schools and organizations need to provide proper education that includes people with disabilities.

Love shouldn’t be denied to anyone—it’s a human right.